there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
