im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
