waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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