She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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