I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
