Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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