So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
