if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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