this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
