Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
