Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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