Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
