I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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