ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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