New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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