guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
