Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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