i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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