We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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