so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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