Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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