i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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