The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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