that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
