Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
