I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
