yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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