Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
