You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
