Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
