Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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