Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
