At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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