It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
