toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
