I hate all girls vehemently.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
