I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
