i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
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I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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