Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You don't make any sense
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