the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
