it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
