i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
