Life is so much better after having sex.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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