I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
