It's like God shit irony all over that family
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
