I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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