hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
