How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
