Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
