I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
