Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
