I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
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After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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