The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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