Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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