your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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