Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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