I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
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I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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