i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
