The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize