dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize